HR Leadership: From Selfless to Self-Care

Countless stories shared at Connex industry events demonstrate just how compassionate HR leaders can be, their deep empathy pushing them to go above and beyond in the service of employees. But without safeguarding themselves, that same selfless drive can give way to burnout, resentment, and undue stress. We recently sat down with several senior HR professionals to confront this growing, hard truth: holistic wellbeing has cemented itself as a centerpiece of the employee value proposition, but the professionals leading that charge rarely get the support they need.

Leadership today demands more than strategic brilliance; it demands resilience, self-awareness, and balance. By embracing personal wellbeing as a leadership imperative, HR executives can better serve their people, model healthier norms, and build more sustainable organizations. As the adage goes, you need to affix your own oxygen mask before you can help others.

Our workplaces, lives, and needs are as varied as they are complex, and as such, there is no silver bullet for addressing the challenge of personal wellbeing. However, there are some steps HR leaders – and the various business partners they support – can take to improve their mental and physical health, resilience, and leadership efficacy:

Prioritizing Mental and Physical Health — for Real

Too often, leaders act as if mental and physical wellbeing programs are benefits for others. They understand, logically, that these programs can help individuals achieve a sounder state of mind and a healthier lifestyle but stop short of giving themselves “permission” to pursue the same.

“Every conversation that I’ve been involved in with our HR team, I remind them that we have our EAP. It’s not just for the employees,” explained panelist Mandi Susman, Sr. Director of Total Rewards & Analytics at Girl Scouts of the USA. Susman is equally passionate and vocal about other self-care and wellbeing practices, such as yoga, therapy, meditation, and regular exercise. “They help keep my head screwed on straight,” she joked.

Over a 12-month period, Gallup reports that employees with less than “good” mental health average almost 5x as more unplanned absences than their peers. We’ve all experienced situations where such absences create temporary hardships and stresses on a workplace team, but that effect is magnified when those calling out are leaders. By investing in wellbeing practices, HR leaders can safeguard team performance, giving the department the footing it needs to be a strategic business driver.

Additionally, actively engaging in healthy practices has a dual benefit. Not only does the leader become healthier, but their actions signal to employees throughout the organization that self-care and well-being aren’t just accepted: they’re encouraged. Speaking of…

A Healthier Workplace Starts with You

“Whether we realize it or not, we all cast a leadership shadow onto the organization,” reminded panelist Brian Sherman, EVP & Chief People Officer at Delta Dental. Behavioral modeling is one of the most powerful tools leaders have in shaping organizational culture, and by doing so, HR leaders create the kind of environment where they can thrive alongside their peers. Simple but meaningful actions – inviting team leads to join in on midday mindfulness sessions, openly and respectfully sharing personal wellness habits, visibly participating in wellness challenges – can all have outsized effects that compound on themselves as organizational DNA shifts.

If leaders don't model these behaviors, employees are far less likely to believe in their importance and are less likely to participate. After all, employees take their cues from what they see their leaders do, not what they say. When leaders visibly log off after hours, take time off without guilt, and avoid sending late-night emails, they powerfully signal that wellbeing is the norm. That said, ignoring the social pressures to “keep up” means you’ll have to…

Be Intentional in Making Time for Yourself

Modern HR demands are relentless, and without clear boundaries, personal wellbeing is often the first priority to slip. As such, it’s imperative that leaders are intentional about setting clear, wellbeing-supportive boundaries. “I used to start getting calls scheduled for 6:30 in the morning,” Sherman offered as an example. “No, I want to take time to work out in the morning. So now I don't take a call until 8:00 am – that’s just a hard and fast rule.”

Susman agreed, emphasizing that personal and professional development need to be given the same level of respect to ensure they aren’t overlooked in the frenzy of competing priorities. After all, leaders’ schedules are nearly always full, so you need to…

Know Your Limits

In high-pressure environments, it’s easy for every calendar event, email, and phone call to feel urgent. Working past this requires leaders to build the emotional intelligence and self-awareness needed to truly discern what matters in that moment, and what can be safely let go.

Susman framed this critical leadership process excellently using a metaphor she’d heard elsewhere: “We have all these balls in the air, and most of them are rubber. They will bounce if you drop them. A few are glass and you have to catch those. […] Think it through – if you don’t answer that email today, is the world really going to come crashing to an end? Or will they just hear back from you 12 hours later?”

Panelist Christina Bennett, SVP of HR for Premier Home Health Care Services, agreed, noting that leaders needed to become “ruthless” in protecting their time and mental bandwidth. The practice is ultimately more strategic than selfish – a leader cannot sustain their team if they’re running on empty. Deliberate self-reflection, a strong grasp of personal emotional triggers, and the ability to pause before reacting can all help leaders better understand and enforce their limits. Likewise, so can…

Reframing Vulnerability as Strength

Traditional, top-down leadership styles typically assume that senior executives have all the answers, and by association, they equate uncertainty or authenticity with weakness. However, HR leaders know better than most that such mindsets are fast-tracks to burnout, stress, and strained working relationships. Today’s business landscape is fundamentally volatile and uncertain, and it’s unreasonable to expect machine-like efficiency and accuracy from anyone.

Furthermore, today’s employees want to see authenticity from their leaders; they want them to feel human, and thereby approachable – a template that can be reasonably emulated. As Bennett put it: “Vulnerability is a sure-fire way to show people that they can be less than perfect too. That there's space for all of us here.”

Fostering psychological safety starts at the top. By working it into the shared cultural language of an organization, HR leaders create an environment that’s conducive to their own self-care, while simultaneously reassuring employees that they’re safe to give it their all. Sharing struggles openly, admitting when you don't have all the answers, and encouraging open dialogue creates a culture where innovation, trust, and loyalty can thrive.

Your Wellbeing Is Your Top Priority

Being a leader in the 21^st century means recognizing that resilience, authenticity, and balance aren’t luxuries. They are essential competencies that need to be honed, starting foremost with recognizing and respecting personal needs. Taking one’s wellbeing seriously is, ultimately, an investment in the future of the business.

Prioritize it. Model it. Protect it. Because if the leaders aren’t well, neither are the teams they lead.

Connex membership is an excellent first step in prioritizing your professional and personal wellbeing and gives you access to the industry thought leadership and peer support you need to overcome today’s pressing challenges. For information on our exclusive online community, library of content, and calendar of live and virtual events. CLICK HERE AND BECOME A MEMBER NOW!